It's one of those days again. It's one of those days where I just want to punch something to make myself feel better. This is probably the third time I've felt this negative. The last time something like this happened, I nearly trashed my room. It felt that all the negativity that manifested in me wanted to escape and all I felt like doing was to do was to scream my lungs out and cry. I don't know why I've been feeling like this.
It just that... I've been thinking that what I've been doing for the past year was absolutely useless. Sure, I made great friends here in my course but is this what I really want in life? Is this what I'll be doing in the future? Most of the time, when I think about my future as someone who graduated from the course I'm in, the vision's all fuzzy. I can't paint a clear picture in my head. No matter how much I try, it's useless.
Maybe it's just me and my emotions fucking up these few days. I'm not really sure what's happening but I'm beginning to think being in this course is redundant to me. Of course, the course wasn't something I wanted to take. It has never been. It was a spur of the moment choice. Then again, how many of us out there are able to say "I got into the course that I really wanted!" or "I don't regret my course!"?
As days go by in poly, I start to wonder why I'm in such a course. My mind's always blank, I can't seem to absorb anything during lectures, everything's a blur to me. What's happening? I don't know. My mind's all cloudy as I can;t think straight. Hopefully this will just pass.
Maybe this negativity is just a fleeting emotion.
Hopefully.
