But in the end it doesn't even matter

Black Butler

Saturday, 26 April 2014, 10:48 pm

Yeap, I finally caught the new Kuroshitsuji movie. And with who you may ask? It's with my tumblr friend. Holy shit, right? It was such a random thing to do but I felt it ended well. Back to the topic of the movie, I never expected it to be this good. Then again, I didn't really have much expectations since most of the live actions that has been made so far for anime didn't really turn out that nice (IMO that is, other than Death Note. I enjoyed that. This exclude shoujo manga btw), I thought that Kuroshitsuji wouldn't be that great. Hell, I was so wrong.

I was slightly afraid it would turn out like the second anime season, which had nothing to do with the manga at all, but I was really happy at how they added scenes from the manga (like saving Ciel from the yakuza) and the quotes that Ciel said as well (noted from the last scene). I especially love how they portrayed Sebastian's love for cats. Oh god, it was so adorable. And the fanservice in the movie oh my god. The last two scenes like damn that kiss to save him thou. I can feel my inner fangirl squealing right now. But I was kind of sad that there wasn't any Bard and Finny counterparts in this movie. I need more of Bard's flamethrower and Finny's kawaii self.

All in all, I was pretty satisfied with the movie. Hell, that 11.50 didn't go to waste.

AAAAAAND, I got 5 new kawaii badges to use now. Yeap. Happy about today man. Life's good.

Lightening up the post.

Friday, 17 January 2014, 11:25 pm

Source

Well, it's Friday and here I am making a random blog post. I have to admit, this week has been a hectic week with back to back submission and all I can say is that it's crazy. There's so many things to be done, and yet there's so little time. I honestly thought that this week will be a horrible week throughout, but I have to admit, it got better as days went by. But all good things must come to an end and I felt that the week started to turn slightly foul in a way.

Extra lectures, more work, less sleep. Everything's pretty much piling up. I've been lacking sleep these days and I gotta say, my eye bags are getting darker as days go by and with more submissions coming up. It's about 6 more weeks till the holidays. That's like 1 more month. 1 more month of studying my ass off before relaxing for a whole month. And then year 2 will start and all hell will break loose once more.

Well, at least my Tuesday was nice. Not really gonna tell what happened, but it did make me smile and it did make my day end better than I thought it would, really. Slightly awkward meeting but thank you for making me smile. You definitely made my day better. Thank you whoever you are :) I mean, I wanna thank you but I honestly don't know who you are and I couldn't catch your name so.. I'll just thank you here, alright?

VGHS is such a cool web series. I honestly love it and you know what? I can't wait for the season 3. Oh my god. I wanna know what's going to happen to Ted and Brian right now. Speaking of Brian, I still can't get rid of the image of Ted talking to Mr. Swan in C++. Seeing as how I do learn C++, hearing him say it really gets to me. And one reason is that I used to do that as well. But difference was, I used it to irritate people, not to impress. HAHAHAH.

When was the last time, I made such happy paragraphs on my blog, eh? Everything's so depressing on my blog so I thought, why not lighten it up a little. And maybe, I'll change the theme so it looks more lighter and happy. And maybe I'll start to feel happier as well.

Tomorrow's the City of Sharing and I gotta be at Kovan Hub by 7.30. What is life.

Goodnight guys~

What am I doing

Tuesday, 7 January 2014, 11:00 pm

Artist

It's one of those days again. It's one of those days where I just want to punch something to make myself feel better. This is probably the third time I've felt this negative. The last time something like this happened, I nearly trashed my room. It felt that all the negativity that manifested in me wanted to escape and all I felt like doing was to do was to scream my lungs out and cry. I don't know why I've been feeling like this.

It just that... I've been thinking that what I've been doing for the past year was absolutely useless. Sure, I made great friends here in my course but is this what I really want in life? Is this what I'll be doing in the future? Most of the time, when I think about my future as someone who graduated from the course I'm in, the vision's all fuzzy. I can't paint a clear picture in my head. No matter how much I try, it's useless.

Maybe it's just me and my emotions fucking up these few days. I'm not really sure what's happening but I'm beginning to think being in this course is redundant to me. Of course, the course wasn't something I wanted to take. It has never been. It was a spur of the moment choice. Then again, how many of us out there are able to say "I got into the course that I really wanted!" or "I don't regret my course!"?

As days go by in poly, I start to wonder why I'm in such a course. My mind's always blank, I can't seem to absorb anything during lectures, everything's a blur to me. What's happening? I don't know. My mind's all cloudy as I can;t think straight. Hopefully this will just pass.

Maybe this negativity is just a fleeting emotion.

Hopefully.

Boredom

Sunday, 22 December 2013, 10:34 pm

Hello from Malaysia! I've been in Malaysia for a couple of days and I have to say, it's pretty nice here. What's missing is the internet access here. The kind neighbours has allowed us to use their wifi ♡

Holidays are coming to an end soon and I've barely completed anything. Programming is pretty hard and I don't even know where to start for networking. I just pray that I'll be able to figure something out soon enough. I don't have time to procratinate any longer. Pushing aside my workload at this point is probably suicidal. SOMEONE HELP ME BEFORE I DROWN IN CODES.

Sometimes, I tend to think... Why did I join this course? Is it worth it? Will I be able to enjoy my work in the future? Is this what I really want to do with my life? Then again, not many people get to have a job they truly enjoy. To have fun everyday, doing what they dreamt of as a kid.... I honestly wonder what it feels like. To wake up every single day, thinking, "Ah, I can't wait for my day to start!"

After having a thousand thoughts run through my mind, I realized one thing. I'm only 17. I have a whole life ahead of me. If I don't get to do what I want now, maybe in the future I will. And Insya'Allah, I will be able to do something I truly love and enjoy.

On a lighter note, I've been playing Hakuoki ~Memories of the Shinsenguni~ and I have to say this game is absolutely wonderful. I have gone through 3 out of the 5 routes so far and everything has been great. The voice acting, the art, EVERYTHING. I wish they would release more otome games for the 3DS.

Look at this. Perfect, no? ♥

Whelp. I have nothing else to talk about. See ya.

Stress.

Saturday, 23 November 2013, 2:30 am

My stress levels are off the hook. There's so many things that I have to worry about right now. There's school matters as well as family matters that I have to deal with soon enough. I can't express the amount of unhappiness I have inside my heart but I refuse to show it. I have to many things on my mind that I just can't seem to relax. Friendships are beginning to turn shaking and I have to say, I'm not very proud of it.

I'm so caught up with my own bullshit that I can't tolerate others. Just a little thing someone says and I'll blow. I feel lethargic every single day and my body aches. I sometimes have trouble sleeping sometimes causing me to feel more tired. School is getting in the way of my sleep and I'n not happy about this. It causes my tolerance level to others to drop significantly. I can't seem to feel with anyone's bullshit right now.

Everything seems to piss me off. I've probably been hostile to over 5 people right now and it's not funny at all. Most of them are my project mates. Their first impression of me must be total shit and I don't blame them. I was really in a foul mood this morning and I couldn't seem to shake it off.

It's rare that I show my part of my foul mood in class. It takes a lot, that's for sure. I don't like coming to class with a foul mood that I got at home. I feel it's stupid and it causes people around me to feel awkward as fuck but today, I couldn't control it at all. My foul mood went away completely after I finished my presentation. It was as if one burden was off of my back and I could focus on other presentations and projects.

Here I am, ranting at 2.30am in the morning because I can't seem to sleep. Maybe meeting them later in the afternoon can cheer me up. I hope it does because I don't want this foul mood to continue any longer.

Forgive but never forget.

Tuesday, 12 November 2013, 10:15 pm

Who knew I'd make a blog post right now right? I didn't think I'd update but I've been doing a little thinking. About school, about life and so much more. After reading a few things here and there, I finally decided. Why not rant a little here. After all, this blog was created for such a thing.

Sometimes I wonder, is forgiving the best solution? Personally, I tend to forgive people even if we end up having the biggest fight in history. I find myself hanging on to that tiny shred of hope, thinking maybe we could patch things up. I try and salvage whatever is left of the friendship, in hopes that we could rebuild it and start over but now I start to think: is it really worth my time? I love my friends, each and everyone of them dearly but is it worth the time and effort to fight for a friendship that was never meant to be saved? What if one side doesn't want to patch things up?

After all, it takes two to tango. I'm sick of getting pushed around like some rag doll. I'm not some toy you play with. I'm not your fucking backup either. Treat me as a proper human being. I have feelings too if your haven't noticed it yet. I may forgive you, but never expect me to forget the shit you've done to me.

I shall be perfectly honestly with all of you. I'm still on edge due to my previous fallout with a friend. It left a pretty bitter taste in my mouth as well as my other friends. I'll have to say I've been childish. I've been ignoring shit I'm not supposed to and I end up thinking of writing such hostile things but I end up not wanting to. I don't want to make things worse than it already this. Then again, I tend to hold pretty strong grudges when I want to and this would be a perfect example. Taking words seriously, refusing to come to the terms that we could patch up with that little shred of hope. I'm on the fence on this. Is it worth the time or an investment on something that I'll never get results from? Life's never fair. You'll never know what's going to happen. It's a gamble you take everyday. Maybe I'm just being a bitch about this, I don't really know.

Friendships are hard to maintain. Hard, but worth the investment because in the past few years I've found people that I treasure so much. These treasures are irreplaceable to me. The very few that has stuck through the hell I've given them over the years and yet see the good in me.

With them around, an unfair life doesn't affect me. And with that, my post comes to an end. Good night.

Tired.

Wednesday, 23 October 2013, 11:43 pm

Who knew I'd be back with a new blog post at such a timing, right? I just felt like writing once so here I am. I honestly wish that my mood would be like the little kitty gif above me. No joke. Since the start of the new semester, I've been sick. My sore throat has been going for days, my headaches come and go and yet I have no fever. I don't know what the hell you want with me, body. Why are you acting up when school just started?

Lessons have been tiring for me the past few days. Maybe it's the sickness, maybe it's just that I miss my holidays. I think both are a factor to why I'm feeling like shit right now. Moving on, Basic IT Security was horribly boring. No offence to my teacher but he's pretty boring. The lesson itself is already dry, he just makes it worse. And do you know the worse part? Every Wednesday, my class meets him for 4 fuckin' hours. Insane? Don't worry, I think so too. Not only do we meet him for 4 hours, the only lessons we have on that day are with him.

IMAGINE THE BOREDOM GUYS. If you can;t, pick the most boring teacher you can find. Then imagine having a 3 hour lesson with that teacher. Not so great, isn't it?

We're only half way through the week and I feel like dying already. Project specs are slowly coming out and groups are starting to be formed. We have so many projects and assignments to go through this semester. So much shit to do, so little time. When my teacher went through the project specs and stuff, I felt like dying. I honestly hope I can get through this project smoothly. Ok, even if I can's go through this project smoothly, it's fine. As long as I pass, I'll definitely be happy.

Our programming teacher is boring as well. What's with the amount of boring teacher's this sem, yeah? I hope things get better. I have a long day in school tomorrow and my first psychology lecture is tomorrow. Wish me luck and pray that I can get through 1.2 safely.

BYE GUYS~